As a wife, there are specific duties that one must take on. Now, I know that gender "norms" are not identical in every household, but your obligations to your spouse and your home adjust from those of living a single life.
I love serving my husband. Do I love cleaning toilets and cooking 3 meals a day, every day?... No! But I love having the opportunity to love my husband through service to our family. I honor God and our marriage each time I make a meal. I honor God through keeping my home in pecking-order.
1Timothy 5:10 describes the reputation a good wife would carry-- raising children, providing hospitality to strangers, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in distress, and dedicating herself to every kind of good thing.
As a homemaker, it is my job to be as Paul described; but how can I do this, practically?
Raising Children: I think we all get this one. Raising children does not look the same for everyone. Some families are a two-working parent household, some are a one-parent household, some are a split household, maybe you help raise up other's children as your own, etc., and some are like mine. Regardless of what your home-work-child dynamic looks like, we have an obligation to raise children in God's image. Teach them to know, love, and proclaim the name of our Heavenly Father. Lead by example for a life that is driven by Christ. Simply, love.
Providing Hospitality to Strangers: Our homes, and our hearts should be open to others. Are we loving? Are we kind? Do we seek to gather with others for opportunities for fellowship? One thing that my husband and I have been doing is inviting new people over to eat dinner at our home. We love having an opportunity to share good food and good conversation. I want my home to be a place where people always feel welcome and loved. I want to provide an atmosphere of openness. Do you create opportunities for receptiveness? Search for ways to disciple others outside of your home by opening it up.
Washing the Feet of Saints: How do we serve--in our community, in our church, in our homes? Do you ever pray with/ for strangers? What actionable steps are you taking to serve? One of the things that I love to do is bring meals to families in our community-- maybe after a new baby, a surgery, an unexpected loss of family, etc. This is something so little, that can mean so much! My husband and I currently serve in our church by helping lead the Youth on Sunday nights. I have been in a period of discernment and prayer about finding other opportunities to serve, and I continue to pray that my heart stays open to the possibilities God has for me. What areas do you feel led to serve? Maybe you have a heart for missions over-seas, or maybe you feel led to volunteer at the women's shelters in your city. Wherever the Lord's will takes you, be prepared to have an open heart and open mind.
Helping Those in Distress: Think about the kind of friend you are to others. We discussed with the Youth last week that you should be the kind of friend that you need. How do we posture ourselves to help our loved ones? Are we speaking through truth AND love? In Timothy Keller's book "The Meaning of Marriage," he discusses the importance of keeping truth and love together, though it is very challenging. This book may be intended for spousal relationships, but I think it so accurately can be portrayed by friendships all the same. He says:
When we are hurt, we use the power of truth without love. The fury and pain of such encounters can lead to the mistake of trying to just love without telling the truth, though in the end this does not lead to anyone feeling loved at all. What we need is the two together, intertwined. We need to feel so loved by our partners that when they criticize us, we have the security to admit our faults. Then we can come to know and face who we are and grow.
In our friendships, as well as our marriages, it is important to be supportive while also helping the other to grow. When our loved ones approach us with distress (or even if they don't and you notice their need), how can we be truthful and loving to support them? Honestly, I am still working to find this balance, but I am grateful that I have Holy Spirit on my side to help lead me along the way.
Dedicating Yourself to Every Kind of Good Thing: This is such a broad statement, but I think we can broach the idea of "dedicating myself to good," by asking yourself if your actions/words/thoughts are kind. If you feel any shame for a decision or action, repent! It's not enough to just say you won't do it again... Ask for forgiveness and make change! Legitimate change. Easier said than done, right?
We are imperfect people; we live in a fallen world, but we can live our lives with a heart-posture for Christ. We can work every day to become more like Jesus.
*Father, I pray that we turn over our lives, our hearts, our thoughts, and our experiences to you. I am thankful for Holy Spirit being my guide in every moment of every day. In Romans 8 we read that we are set free by the Spirit! God, I ask that you continue to blanket our lives in opportunities to learn and grow. Thank you for your love and grace. Amen*
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